I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
