honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize