She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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