fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize