nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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