There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
