watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
