I want to stick my p in your. b.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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