So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
