Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
