For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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