I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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