were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
