If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
