return my video game
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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