some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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