ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
