I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
