mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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