I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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