What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
