I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
