it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
