Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
