How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Shame - the story of my life.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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