I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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