Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
