Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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