Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
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