That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
