So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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