I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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