you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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