I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
