Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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