he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize