ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
