yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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