margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
