i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
