I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
