no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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