I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
