She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
