You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
