It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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