lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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