Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I have post one night stand depression
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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