My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
