Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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