Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
