It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
