My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
