That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Is Oprah even human
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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