So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
