The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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