She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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