I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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