Old men and throwing up are my life now.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
