I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
