I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
