Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
