People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
