I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
