just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
