Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
