she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
