I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
