Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
