i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
handjob tips. give me some.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
