Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
